Goodbye 2014!

It's the last evening of 2014... To be honest, it doesn't feel special, at least not yet. In a few hours I'm going to take a train to Odessa and maybe then I'm going to feel this atmosphere of stepping into a new chapter. In fact, I don't even believe the New Year to be special and I've never really celebrated it in my life, because I'm definitely not a party animal. Yet I have to admit that changing that small digit in the date makes me thing of what I've done during the last 365 days, of what I've gained and what I've lost, of what has changed in me... (By the way, don't be surprised if you happen to receive letters from me dated "January 2014" soon - I often have problems switching to the new date) ;)

I guess I can say that 2014 has been quite a good year for me. That's how I feel about it. Of course, not everything was perect - and it will never be - but isn't it better to focus on the bright sides of life? I can see some positive changes in myself and in the way I see the world - and I hope to pursue them further in 2015. But before I take my train and tell a definite goodbye to 2014, I want to share some of this year's highlights with you. :)

I've been traveling a lot. As some of you know, each year I calculate the distance that I've traveled by trains during a year. In case you want to ask why I don't count the kms that I've traveled by buses or planes, you're just not yet aware of how crazy railway maniac I am! ;) 

Me and a Russian train in May 2014.

The current result is 62675 kms and it's an absolute record. But I will tell you the exact number later, because it will grow a bit by midnight. It's about one and a half leap around the world, but I'll be honest with you - most of that distance was traveled in Ukraine. Overall I've been to 7 countries this year.

Me in Vitebsk, Belarus. January 2014

I've been to Belarus for quite a few times this year. I started discovering this country for myself in the first days of January 2014 and by now I've seen most of it's main sights. Unfortunately, I'm not anymore in touch with the person, who was my travel companion during most of my Belarusian trips. Well, it happens that people come and go from our lives, but it doesn't make my memories of the journeys and of that person any worse.

Me in Smolensk, Russia. May 2014

I've spent a weekend in Russia while the Ukrainian-Russian war was already going on, but I tried very hard not to look like an Ukrainian spy! ;)

Me in Székesfehérvár, Hungary. August 2014

I've also traveled to Hungary twice and tried to practise my poor Hungarian. I don't think I've made a huge progress, but at least I've had a lovely time during the trips. :)

A photo I've taken in Brașov, Romania. August 2014

The trip to Transylvania, Romania with my dad was certainly one of the highlights of this year. We haven't met any vampires, but have visited some beautiful towns and amazing fortified churches in small villages. I hope to come back to Transylvania one day!

A photo I've taken in Orheiul Vechi, Moldova. October 2014

I've also spent a weekend in Moldova in October. That was a wonderful way of getting over a complicated relationship and reminding myself how great it can be to travel completely on my own.

I suppose the readers of my blog won't be surprised to hear that I've been writing letters all year long. I've received 126 letters this year (and probably sent about the same amount, but I'm too lazy to count). Sometimes I was a quick answerer, sometimes I'd get a bit overwhelmed with my pile of mail, but my penpals have always been close to my heart and have helped me to go through the hard times. Some penpals faded away, but some really amazing people have come to my life through my mailbox this year. I've been lucky enough to meet some of my dear friends this year.

Me and Essi in Nevitske, Ukraine. June 2014

In June my Finnish friend Essi came for a week to Ukraine. Actually, first she came to Poland and I was afraid I wouldn't find her in Przemyśl, but then we had a lovely time Training, visiting castles and going to Maidan in Kyiv! :) Hopefully we'll meet again in Finland.

Me and Brigi in Csókakő, Hungary. August 2014

On my way to Romania in August I've been able to spend 2 days in Hungary with my friend Brigi! :) We're going to meet again in January and I hope she's not going to kill me for publishing this photo. ;) Brigi, you've only asked me not to put it on Facebook! :D

Me and Ola in Lublin, Poland. November 2014

I've met my Belarusian friend Ola for a few times this year - first in Belarus and then in Poland. This particular photo was taken during our last trip to Poland. I hope we'll see many more places together in 2015! :)

I've also tried some completely new things this year.

With my friend Ildikó in Rativtsi, Ukraine, during a World Servants project. May 2014

I've worked as a translator for a Dutch organization named World Servants, while they were building an orphanage and a kindergarten in small villages in Transcarpathia region of Ukraine. I've really enjoyed it and have even tried to work at the construction a bit, mostly carrying bricks, because that's the only thing I wouldn't spoil. :D

It was scary and funny at the same time :)

I've also tried to ride a horse. I was very scared in the beginning, but to my own huge surprise, I managed to survive it and even to enjoy it in the end. These animals are just amazing!

Surely, I've also made some mistakes this year. I guess the biggest one was getting myself into another complicated relationship, which I knew it couldn't work out from the very beginning, and traveling to the war zone because of this relationship. It caused me some stress and perhaps a minor trauma, because I had nightmares for almost 2 months after experiencing a bit of the war. But at least I've spent some time at the seaside in the region, which used to be very dear to me in the past.

Sea of Azov in Mariupol, Ukraine. August 2014

Thanks to this complicated relationship I've also met a really good friend, who is my it's-complicated's relative. We keep in touch despite my split with that guy and she's my greatest hairdresser ever! Actually, she's got education as both hairdresser and psychologist, so she knows how to convince me to experiment with my hairstyle. Believe it or not, it has a really positive impact on my self-esteem.

My hairstyle in October, when it didn't look very extreme yet ;)

An important thing that I've realised this year is that I should value my family more. Burning most of the bridges behind me and starting a new life sounded temptating a few years ago, but now I believe that there are not so many people who truly love us no matter who we are and what we do. We should value those people and use the time that we still can spend with them. This year has been the first one since 2009, when I met all of my living grandparents!

With my grandfather. July 2014

I want to carry on this way and I'm rather sure I'll visit most of my relatives in February. It took me 5 years to accept myself as both Ukrainian and Polish at the same time and to stop feeling bad about traveling to Poland. Even if going to Poland still feels like going abroad.

I think that before leaving I should still share the last pieces of my 2014 mail. :)

From Katalin in Slovakia

I've received one letter on Monday - it was from my Slovak/Hungarian friend Katalin. She has also enclosed a Christmas card as well as some yummy tea and cappucino! :)

To Tessa in the Netherlands

I've sent my letter to Tessa on Monday. I hope it's going to arrive before we meet on 16th January. :) Isn't this winter stamps sheet lovely? I still have 6 and should be able to buy more, so in case you'd like me to use it for my next letter to you, just let me know! :)

To Martina in Slovenia

And the last letter of 2014 started traveling today to Martina - my Italian friend, who lives in Slovenia. I think I'm going to start writing one more letter this year, but I doubt I'll manage to finish it before midnight. ;)

So that was my 2014. I hope yours was good as well and I'm wishing you an even better New Year 2015! :)

My New Year's resolutions? To be happy, to make others happy and to live my life to the fullest! And all the other things should be kept spontaneous! :)

Emotions, emotions...

During the last days I've been feeling extremelly emotional and anxious. And really, I don't know what's the reason behind it. The easiest option would be to blame my exam period, which is coming to an end (I'll have just two more exams on Monday and Tuesday), but no, it would't be true. I just don't know, what's going on with me and I feel like crying, but I hope this feeling will be gone soon... I realise we can't feel great all the time, that we all have some bad days. But I wish I knew the exact reason behind those emotions that have been overwhelming me... I've been trying to find my peace through meditation lately, but the bad thing is that while I experience anxiety, I can't really meditate, I can't focus on anything for more than a minute. I know it requires practice and that I should just go through periods like this one to learn something new about myself. But it's still hard.

I've spent this weekend with my friend Anya and have taken this photo in her village. You can see a bit of a peaceful winter landscape (I wish there was more snow, but at least it was about -8 degrees yesterday) and a terrible Ukrainian road as well. There's nothing really special about this landscape, but seeing the fields and empty roads makes me feel peaceful, it's something I can barely experience in the city. The time I've had with my friend was really nice, even if I didn't let her do anything really crazy with my hair this time - for now I enjoy it the way it is. But spending time at her place somehow always makes me think of where I'm on my own road and where could this road possibly take me. She's just one year older than me, but she has a son, who's 1.5 year old. It was a planned child, she had wanted to become a mother since she was 18 and it was a real hell for her, when she thought she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. Now they're already planning the 2nd child with her husband. Needless to say, I can't imagine myself becoming a mother. Yeah, never say never, but at least not in the foreseeable future. When I observe my friend's son, who's a really cute little guy by the way, I feel I'd never have enough patience and enough selflessness to sacrifice my own goals and prioritise my child. Of course, itself it's not a reason to feel upset. I strongly believe that some people are meant to be parents, while others aren't. This shouldn't be imposed on anyone. But as far as being a parent is something that automatically adds some meaning into your life, those who don't see themselves living a typical family life are in need of finding some other meaning in their lives. Would traveling always serve that purpose for me? I'm so much afraid of feeling empty inside. I also often feel misunderstood by the society. Even my landlady, who is a very nice woman and kind of a friend for me, says "Aren't you afraid that your life will be empty? You don't have to get married, but maybe you should at least have a child". I know you don't have to have children to make your life meaningful and happy. Some people become very unhappy as a result of following the society's expectations. But will I always be able to find something meaningful in my life and not to feel empty? Won't I ever feel lonely? I feel comfortable being single, because I avoid the emotional rollercoaster that I experienced in each of my past relationships. But deep inside I feel I'm missing something. I'm really sorry for writing such pathetic things. I guess I'm just really having a really bad day (or weekend) and should do something to cheer myself up, but I don't know, what exactly could that be.

 

On a more positive note, I've finally done some Training, which felt really cosy after a month without traveling. This photo was taken at the railway station in Kyiv. First I planned to go to the city centre and to take a picture of the country's main Christmas tree there, but you've guessed it right, I was too lazy. So I just asked some guy to take a photo of me with a Christmas tree at the railway station :)

 

 

I have also bought a ticket for the train, which would take me into 2015. I realise most of you can't read it, but anyway, it's a ticket for a train, which departs on 31th December and arrives on 1st January. I've already done it for 4 times and I feel like continuing this "tradition", because it feels special for me. As far as I miss real Christmas, I've never been fond of New Year - as a teenager I'd just go to sleep before midnight on 31st December. So isn't it better to at least sleep on a train and wake up in some nice place? :)

 

2015 hasn't even started, but I already have a lot of travel plans - I think I've never planned so many trips ahead and maybe that's also one of the things to overwhelm me. Believe it or not, I've booked some more flights on Friday! I'm going to meet a very special Friend of mine in February and I'm already looking forward to it, even if I seem to be scared of everything at the moment. I'm sorry for keeping the destination in secret, but I don't feel ready to share it, while I'm not feeling well. Of course, special thanks go to my favourite airline for the €9 tickets! ;) I wish they were operating trains instead of airplanes, but for this price I can face my aviaphobia. 6 flights this winter?! Maybe that's why I'm feeling anxious?

 

I haven't received any letters lately, but I've been able to send two:

 

 

This letter to Olga in Belarus was sent on Thursday.

 

And this one to Maude in France was sent today. We've had a long break in our penfriendship because one of my letters got lost and I made quite a silly assumption that Maude didn't want to write with me anymore. Now I really hope we'll be able to revive our friendship.

Sadly, I was quite upset when I opened my mailbox this morning, not just because there were no letters for me, but also because my letter to Bahanur, which I've sent from Poland, got returned for me... They didn't even name the reason! :( That really almost made me cry, especially that I was already feeling too emotional. I'm going to resend it tomorrow, but I'm also worried about the other 2 letters, which I've sent from Poland... :( Well, I just hope next time I'll be able to write something more optimistic...

The shortest day of the year wasn't short of letters :)

Today is the shortest day of the year (I know it was yesterday for most of you, but in our time zone the December solstice was on 22nd December at 1:03 am) and it's also the first day of winter according to Polish people (Ukrainians keep things simplier and believe it's 1st of December, which starts winter season). Unfortunately, it doesn't look like winter at all - it's been rainy and gloomy all day long. Which doesn't spoil my mood at all, because I have quite a few reasons to feel happy - most of them were found in my mailbox today ;)

But let's start with the exam in subject called "Political institutions of Central and Eastern European states", which I've passed yesterday, even though I hadn't really prepared for it (I was too busy learning Hebrew) ;) My final result was 85%, but it's mainly because of our system that I honestly dislike as a procrastinator. You can gain up to 50% during the semester and up to 50% during the exam. And so I got 50% for the exam, but I only had 35% before, so no chances for "A" mark. I realise this system is actually quite fair and that it should encourage us to be active during the whole semester, but I still dislike it... Not that I really care about my marks anyway - there's plenty of more important and pleasant things in life - for example languages! :)

I guess my Hebrew cursive looks ridiculous and I really don't believe I'd ever learn to speak this difficult language fluently, but I feel really motivated to learn some basic expressions before my trip to Israel :) For this reason I'm not sticking to my "schedule" of language learning and focusing just o Hebrew for now. In case you've been wondering, why am I writing the transcription and translation in Polish - it's because my course book is in Polish. A year ago I'd surely translate everything into Ukrainian, but now I don't feel this need to make things more complicated just to prove how 200% Ukrainian I am ;)

But let me tell you about the thing which really made my day today - which was opening my mailbox and seeing how full of mail it was! 

I've received a lovely and thought-provoking letter from Tessa in the Netherlands. She has used cute washi tape with owls for both the envelope and the letter itself. :)

She has also enclosed two postcards - one with a funny reindeer and one which shows a girl very similar to me - traveling by train and reading a book! The only difference is that I don't ever wear hats. ;)

Erin in the USA has answered my intro with a really long and intriguing letter, which I want to answer as soon as possible. It seems that I've finally been lucky to find an American penpal, whom I can truly relate to.

She has also sent me a couple of unusual postcards, I really like them!

Then there was a beautiful Christmas card from Nürnberg, sent by Sandra.

One more map card from Israel, sent by my dear Stav, who knows how to make me even more excited before my journey! ;)

My Finnish friend Essi has sent me a nice postcard from her trip to Oulu, North Finland.

There was also a wonderful Christmas card from Piotr in Poland, who hosted me and my friend during our trip to Białystok in June.

And finally a Christmas card and small decoration from Lea in Hungary. We used to write letters to each other, which I truly enjoyed, but unfortunately we lost contact 1.5 year ago. I was really happy to find a piece of mail from her in my mailbox again!

I've also sent two letters lately:

This intro to Nela in Romania was sent on Saturday. She seems to be a really fascinating person, with whom I share quite a few interests, so I'm glad she agreed to write with me despite the huge age gap between us. By the way, isn't it funny that when I was looking for Romanian penpals back in August-September, I couldn't find anyone interesting, but once I gave up on this idea, I've been contacted by two interesting women of different ages and from different regions of Romania willing to correspond with me? It proves that it's not worth looking for penpals in a certain country - if they are to come to your life, they will come anyway. :)

Today I've sent a letter to my Italian friend Francesca. I just hope it won't take 2 months to arrive, which unfortunately happens with mail between our countries... As you may have noticed, the combinations of stamps on my envelope have been becoming more and more eclectic. Here we have a bit of cactuses, a bit of Christmas, a bit of Ukrainian cities, and a bit of Ukrainian traditional musical instruments, which is quite odd, but what can I do, if they don't issue special stamps with value suitable for international mail? I think that with our currency devaluating so quickly soon I'll start combining special stamps with standard ones and you'll have to forgive me - otherwise I'll have to send all my letters in huge envelopes! :)

I know that most of you will celebrate Christmas in a few days, so I hope you're having a lovely winter time and that the holidays will be really special! :)

A day in Przemyśl

Today I've been on a trip abroad... Or actually on a shopping tour... But it sounds too lame! ;) Let's just say that I went to Poland for a few hours. I go to Przemyśl (the city in Poland, which is closest to the Ukrainian border) once a 2 months to buy medicines for my landlady (whom I actually call my "aunt" for most of the time), which are much cheaper in Poland. She'd need a visa to come to Poland even for such a short time, so I'm glad to help her this way. Also, my groupmates are fond of Polish chocolate, so I indeed had to do some shopping! :D Sometimes it takes so little effort to make people happy ;)

So welcome to Przemyśl - one of the most underdeveloped places in Poland with an almost unpronounceable name... Okay, I'll stop being cruel for now :) Until 2009, when I was still living in Poland, I used to joke that Przemyśl was this country's best city, simply because it was so close to the Ukrainian border! :) Coming to Przemyśl by train always meant that in about half an hour I should already be at the Ukrainian border... 

 

This is the pedestrain border checkpoint in Shegyni/Medyka, 14 km away from Przemyśl. Looks very exciting, right? :) But taking photos is forbidden there, so I was very brave to take this one. ;) It's also possible to cross the border by bus or train, but it takes much more time, especially if you choose the train. As the railway gauge in Poland is narrower than in Ukraine, it takes several hours to change the wheels. So yes, it's quicker if you simply walk through the border - today it took me some 7 minutes. Just like at any other checkpoint on the Polish-Ukrainian border, there's a lot of smugglers. They're really funny at times - they know all the Polish customs oficers and if they see the strict ones are on duty, they just go back home instead of crossing the border :) On the other hand, it's quite sad that they're forced to smuggle to earn some money. I bet most of them don't do it for fun...

I know it's quite weird, because border is nothing more than just a line on the map, but I always have very ambigious feelings while walking those ~500 m between Ukrainian and Polish checkpoints. I guess it must have something to do with my national identity - it's one of the very few moments, when I'm reminded of being Polish. At the moment I'm fine with it, I'm happy to be Polish-Ukrainian and don't feel that I should choose just one of those idetities. Still, crossing the border to Poland doesn't feel like going home. It feels like going abroad. Coming back to Ukraine feels cozy. But at least I have no problem with traveling to Poland anymore, which is a good thing, because ths country has some useful stuff to offer. ;) For example, you can send letters and they'll arrive much quicker that if you had sent them from Ukraine! Yes, you've guessed it right - the first thing I've done in Przemyśl today was to go to the post office! :)

I've sent a letter with a small surprise to Søren in Iceland. I took a picture of it without stamps, because I suspected that the post office lady would take the letter away from me - and I was totally right. ;)

Same with this envelope for Bahanur in Turkey. Actually, it's full of Ukrainian and Belarusian envelopes, which Bahanur wanted to receive. You know, it's like a matryoshka doll! ;) And of course there's also a letter inside one of those envelopes! :)

 

I've also sent a letter to Essi in Finland and at least in this case I was able to take a picture of the Polish stamps, which are actually nicer than usually. ;) It felt kind of special to send a letter to Essi from Przemyśl, because that's where we met when she came to visit me in June. And that's also where we had our first "adventure" - she left the train on a wrong station and I was afraid I wouldn't find her! :D Later we joked about it all the time, but imagine how scared I was when I didn't see her on the train on which she was supposed to come? :) Therefore Przemyśl is just unforgetable!

Later I went to a shopping centre to receive a book which I had ordered a few days ago... Yes, it was in December 2014 that Ksenia discovered it was possible to order books online and to receive them in the shop a few days later! I'm not really modern even if I'm young... :)

 

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be doing it, because I'm already trying to teach myself 3 languages simultaneously... But as I'll be traveling to Israel in a few weeks, I want to revise my Hebrew a bit. I used to learn this beautiful language for a few months back in 2005 - I attended classes at Jewish Cultural Centre in Wrocław. I remember I was the only non-Jewish student and also the youngest one, but at some point almost everyone resigned and the classes were over. I thought I had forgotten almost everything in 9 years, because the only Hebrew word to come to my mind was "Shalom" ;) But as soon as I opened the book, I realised that I could still remember a lot of words and the whole alphabet! Don't you think that our memory is an amazing thing sometimes? It stores so much information, which seems to be forgotten, but in fact simply needs to be brushed up! I'm really glad I've bought this course book, even if it's very easy - probably even too easy for those, who want to go beyond the A1 level. But that's what I need now, before my trip. And then I hope I can buy something more ambitious in Israel :) 

 

Then I went on a short walk in the centre of Przemyśl. In fact, it's a nice city and a very old one - it was founded in the 10th century, if I remember well. And they even have a castle in Przemyśl, although I was too lazy to climb it today.

 

 

There are a few old churches in the historic part of Przemyśl and they haven't been renovated yet (it's indeed quite an underdeveloped place as for Polish measures), but it looks nice in a way.

Some churches are hidden in the narrow streets, so it's quite hard to take a picture of them. This is the Greek-Catholic (which is in fact Ukrainian and not Greek) cathedral.

And now the churches are trying to hide behind the old houses ;) Well, I think Przemyśl is nice in a way - it's one of those few Polish cities, where I feel really comfortable. I know there's also a beautiful 19th century fort located in villages around Przemyśl and I'd like to visit at least some parts of it one day. Unfortunately, today weather wasn't right for searching for fortifications in forests and villages, as it was raining for most of the time. Yet I'm sure I'll come to Przemyśl again - maybe in 2 months from now, and maybe sooner.

Last but not least, I should share some news with you. No, nothing really big has happened since my last blog entry, but I've passed my first exam with 92%, which makes me really happy :) I don't care about my marks much, but it's always pleasant, when my result is over 90% - perhaps also because it doesn't happen very often. ;) My next exam will be on Sunday. Yes, on Sunday. But it's too early to worry about it - I still have 2 days to prepare for it! :) I'm such a typical student, am i now?

And here's the mail I've received since Monday:

A lovely letter with a Christmas card from Olga in Belarus. She used an envelope showing the Mir castle, which reminds me that it's one of the few tourist attractions in Belarus that I still haven't seen. Maybe I should go there one day? ;)

And a Christmas card from Maude in France, who now sends her mail from Germany :) It was very nice to hear from her after a long break and I hope we'll start writing letters to each other again.

I feel very tired now, so I think I should go to sleep, if I only can prevent myself from learning Hebrew at night! Yes, I'm quite enthusiastic about it at the moment and I hope it'll stay this way! :)

A bit of Snow and a lot of Mail Happiness

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to go anywhere this week due to my studies. I'm already getting very tired of all those essays, projects and credits... But luckily my exams will start on Wednesday! Does that sound weird that I'm looking forward to the exams? :) Well, believe it or not, it's always the period before exams that is nerve-recking for me because of all those works that I'm supposed to do. And then the exams themselves... They're just about coming to uni once a 4 days, answering some questions and going back home :) I've never failed any exams, but even if I did, I'd still have a few more chances to pass it - yes, our system is quite liberal and flexible, so there's no need to worry too much. 

So it's been another week of no really exciting events in my life, but I was really blessed with the letters and gifts from my penpals! But before I show you my incomings and outgoings, here's the promised snow in Lviv! :)

I must admit it was quite hard to find it, because most of it melted very quickly. Still, I've managed to capture snow snow in the park next to my uni on Tuesday evening. Now there's no snow left and actually it's funny how some people imagine we must have Siberia-like climate in Ukraine :) No, we don't. Today it was +6 degrees, but I hope the real winter will be back soon.

And now I can show you what I've found in my mailbox this week :)

On Tuesday I received a lovely Christmas package from my dear Tündi :) She always sends me something yummy in December! :) Needless to say, I also loved the stamps set with British mailboxes that she has used for me!

On Wednesday there was a huge envelope from Søren waiting for me in my P.O. Box! It contained an amazing letter, which I've been answering this weekend... and much more!

He has sent me beautiful postcards (the 3D ones look a bit weird on the picture, but they're great in reality!) and handmade chocolates from Denmark, as well as a calendar with stunning views of Icelandic nature! (This actually made me check the prices of flights to Iceland, which aren't as expensive as I imagined... but maybe I should stop making crazy travel plans for now!) ;)

And there was also a letter from my Ukrainian friend Antonina. I was very relieved to hear that she and her little daugther were doing much better now.

I've also been able to send something this week! :)

 

On Thursday I've sent a letter to my Israeli friend Stav. I realy hope it will arrive before we meet each other in person on 7th January!

 

 I've also answered Antonina's letter quickly and sent in on Friday.

And finally, I've done some little Christmas shopping and sent this small package to Tündi :) This time the postal clerk had no problem with me sending "forbidden items" as a letter, perhaps because this evelope's shape didn't look so suspicious. I hope it'll arrive before Christmas ;)

As I've mentioned, this weekend I've been working on Søren's letter, but I think I'll only send it on Thursday, when I'll be going to Poland for a few hours to buy medicines for my landlady. If I manage to write any more letters before Thursday, my dear penpals will have to cope with the ugly Polish stamps somehow, I'm afraid ;) But at least the letters will arrive much quicker this way, which matters especially during this holiday period, when the postal service is overloaded.

Have a lovely week ahead!